And it's January...Time For Service

We have a family service project, courtesy of Auntie X. No, Auntie is not the service project.

Auntie knows a woman who directs our area homeless accommodations. These shelters and short-term facilities include a facility for addicted veterans in a rehab setting. The vets need a myriad of things, but one of the things they need is to eat.

Now, the director has ensured that the vets will have food. But if she doesn't have to take it out of the funds appropriated for the vets, she can use the money for other things for them. Clothes for job interviews. Books and tapes that will improve the rehab process. Bus fare. Every penny that did not go into feeding the vets three squares a day could be used well elsewhere.

So, the director searched out volunteers. Auntie X sent an email, and we responded. We volunteered to cook supper once a week for a year.

The requirements for the meals are pretty simple: A main dish, a side dish, and a dessert for 15-20 people, cooked in our home. Due to confidentiality requirements, they would never know us and we would never know them. That's OK. The Mister delivers the completed meal, gets a receipt for it (always paperwork!) and comes back home on his way from a gig.

Our distance learning program does not have a Religion component. It is not an exclusively Catholic program. We are counting this effort as combined Religion and Life Skills.

So far, the kids have learned to chop onions, soak the onions first in cold water before chopping so the gas doesn't release, chop celery, wash the celery before chopping as it is hard to wash little pieces, cut things in the same size so that the pieces cook evenly, brown meat, broil meat, cook pasta without making it into mush, and make real pudding not pudding-out-of-a-box. Physical properties of milk, eggs, and cornstarch have been gleaned from Alton Brown (despite his nasty comments about the overweight). Peanut butter has been used in a satay as well as in cookies.

We reviewed Jesus words on the arrival to Judgment of souls who have fed those who were hungry in this life, where it states it is just the same as feeding Jesus. If we are feeding Jesus, we want the food to look its best, and taste its best. Jesus, through these veterans who have served our country, has been served rustic chicken cacciatore, taco salad bar, chili bar, London broil with mushrooms, meatloaf, green beans, scalloped potatoes, garlic mashed potatoes, lemon pie, and once when we were in a hurry, Neapolitan ice cream. Jesus has not been served liver, spinach, veal, bleu cheese, or canned olives, all food on the "yuck" list. Every week we say a prayer over the food for those who will eat it, before sending it off with the Mister. We aren't quite as joyful as we should be when it comes to cleaning the kitchen, but who is after the fun of actually making a meal.

The vets often wait for the Mister to arrive, so they can help him unload the meal. He doesn't say much to them except "Hi" and they don't say much back. One of the young men who works for the shelter group is a student of the Mister's. The student has told them that the Mister is a professor, that we are both vets, and nothing else. He's told the Mister that the vets can't wait for Friday, because they know they are going to be well-fed. So there is a temporal reward along with the eternal. It feels good to know we can train our kids in a very practical area of their lives, as well as developing their character.

From There to Here

To quote the Grateful Dead, "What a long, strange trip it's been!"

It seems as if it were eons ago that we loaded the van, taking it up that major highway, only to have the majority of the exhaust system fall off and hang there. So we went with Plan B, stuffing the stuff in storage until we could get to it. The last pieces will come out on Tuesday, the storage unit paperwork completed, and we will be MOVED.

I sent out the invitations to family to come see the place, ALL the family, got all but four to come. Most brought presents, and they didn't have to do that at all! A certain niece and her intended made scones, the BEST scones on the planet, bakery quality scones.

We have been living life as well, while we ransomed our furniture and belongings with petrol and time. Distance learning has become a way of life. So far, we have been to Legoland Discovery Centre, the Lyric Opera, two plays, a bakery (in the back as well as front), Girl Scout activities (yes, we do Girl Scouts), a group movie date, and the Loop.

I caught Belle just the other day, counting the types of Os in her cereal and recording it on paper to obtain the ratio of sizes of Os. We have charts of how to say polite, civil niceties in three different languages. Baby made her own movie of one cat trying to persuade the older cat to play.

We just got the booklets for "Living My Faith" from the National Catholic Committee on Scouting and Camp Fire. It looks like a good program (I wish more people would read the FAQs instead of assuming the USCCB approves of Planned Parenthood or finances it in some way through Girl Scouts, but that's neither here nor there). As nobody is eligible to be confirmed this year, as we are now in the Archdiocese, we are doing our own religion curriculum, and currently attending Mass of the Week at various parishes in the area, to get a feel for ourselves where it would be best to register.

I know our old diocese is attempting to get Catholics to stay within their parish boundaries, but I think that's going to flop. But the parishes of the Archdiocese aren't much better. One parish actually wanted the girls to wait six months until we had been "members" of that parish that long, based on our payment record, before the girls could attend religious education. Another wanted the girls in their parish school, to the tune of non-parishioner rates for this year, three times what we paid for our former parish school. The religious education departments excepting one seem watered-down, but the excellent rel. ed. program has a school that only concentrates on the basics, the very basics (The fact that a school teaches Spelling should not have to be mentioned in a brochure). As we do not foresee a need to use a parish school that will probably be our parish.

We have a new "social action" activity about which we'll share more in coming weeks. Advent is next week! I know where the time went. I just hope it was well-spent.

Mixed Bag- Call It Distance Learning & Not Another One

What would you like first, the good news or not-so-good?

I'm going with not-so-good first. I discovered I am going to be a grandmother again. No, I do not have any married children. No, I am not exploring this further. I am disgusted at my alleged adult child's behavior. I think this baby should be in a married, two-parent home, not being touted as a replacement for the children I adopted. Until and unless I find that my new grandchild and his/ her parent require the basics any Christian must deliver (food, clothing, shelter and the Good News), I can't do anything else without saying that "something not nice." So I will say nothing further. I am making my line in the sand. I know a grandparent or two who has had to do the same thing.

Now that that's off my heart-

It occured to me sometime back that my youngest was not getting the education she needs. Her school was wonderful. Her teacher was top-notch, a veteran of classroom and administration. The student-to-teacher ratio was small, 15:1. The classroom itself was brand, spanking new. Even getting special assignments with more challenge to them, she would come home bored. She actually told me once she could easily succeed in changing the subject in the classroom with a few words, but would be caught about five minutes after the fact. Her standardized test scores are all in the 95-99th percentile. Her report cards are pefect except for conduct, which is almost perfect, but not quite. Those little distractions of the teacher take their toll.

The Mister is a professor, and knows some other professor types who deal in gifted and talented kids. He pointed me to the local university, which has a G&T program during the school year as well as the summer months. OK then!

The Baby's teacher was happy to supply letters of reference for both Baby and her elder sister, Belle. We figured as long as we were checking Baby, we might as well check Belle. We showed up for something called a Torrence Test, which is supposed to measure creativity. Somewhere in the mix of summer swims and trips, we also managed an academic elvaluation through another school.

The basic results are in. Both girls have a good foundation so far. Belle has excellent math skills, good writing habits, but a bit of trouble organizing when she writes. Her mapping and reference skills are off the charts. The Baby was compared to children in her present grade as well as in the grade ahead, and compared very favorably; in fact, she did extremely well. Both girls have better than average age-appropriate manners and behaviors. Both know how to introduce themselves to other children and have no known social awkwardness.

We will be moving next month to another area. We know very little about the schools, Catholic or public. The Mister is not in favor of any public school, period. The Catholic schools have room for one girl at the non-parishioner rate, but not the other. This resulted from The Mister not paying attention when we chose one location, and then deciding he did not like it after all, for a variety of reasons.

Not to worry. The girls will be distance learning, starting next week. We have found a distance learning school that will give them social connections, has a grading service, certificates of completion, and opportunities for other educational experiences in our new area. We will also be utlizing the services of four colleges who have need of elementary school children in various programs. One college even provides sweatshirts with a logo to be worn over white polos and navy trousers.

Baby will be moved a grade ahead of where she would have been, with slightly different books and methods to adapt better to her younger age. Belle will be assigned the grade should have had, but with a grade higher math program.

Home schooling? Perhaps. Better to call it "Distance Learning" as well as remember because of the four colleges, our chances of being "home" during the day are slim-to-none.

The $613 Vacation #2- Fun Center

It seems every community of 2,000 in Illinois has some sort of for-profit center where, for a price, families can engage in various amusements. Our community is no exception; in fact, there are three within a 5-mile radius.

For purposes of convenience as well as tasty vittles, we chose Luigi's. The other two centers offer such amusements as roller skating, bowling, and go-carts. The Mister and I were simply not in the mood to participate in any physical activity that day.

The kids, however, enjoyed arcade games of a wide stripe. Luigi's offers a varied assortment, from Whack-A-Mole to Skeeball. We were able to offer the children the opportunity to place many tokens on their machine keys, over $25 each. This was unprecedented in our family! We have been bribed up to $10, but never $25 each. That's a lot of arcade and video games, 100 attempts.

Frankly, my husband and I went to Luigi's to eat pizza and drink beer in the afternoon. We split a pitcher of MGD. We haven't drunk beer in years, and we haven't drunk anything remotely alcoholic in the afternoon in decades. We were only observed by counselors from the local park district, no doubt jealous that we could imbibe while their duties to their 50 or so charges left them without such an alternative.

Total cost for our weekday afternoon of relaxation: $132.

The $613 Vacation #1- 3D Movie

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Three-dimensional movie viewing is not a cheap proposition.

When we see a first-run movie, we try to aim for the first matinee of the day, often only $3.25 to $4 per seat, all ages, depending on which theater. If we go in the morning, it also saves money on snacks. We perhaps spend $30 total for tickets and snacks.

Not so yesterday's first matinee of "Up" in 3D. 2 adults, 2 kids, $32. Yes, I kept the 3D glasses. We paid for them. They work with Crayola 3D chalk. Why should we recycle them, so the theater can rebag them and resell them? Oh no!

The movie itself was visually appealing in any event, and had a wonderful moral. The 3D experience thrilled the kids. This particular auditorium was nicely uncrowded.

Some theaters turn a blind eye to bringing outside snacks, some put up signs prohibiting it. The theater we attended has no qualms, so we stopped at Walgreen's for some low carb goodies as well as "movie size" boxes of candy for about 1/4 the price at the theater. Good to know: Vines do not taste like Twizzlers, and our kids do not like Vines. We also bought at the theater one giant and refillable tub of popcorn and 2 large diet sodas. $15.

The child who did not win the coin toss for the event got to pick our lunch destination. Big surprise, Mikky D's. We know of one nearby that has authentic golden arches built into the structure, but we have never dined there. Upon our arrival, we were treated to a bench with a gen-u-ine plastic Ronald. Made for a couple nice photos. The service at this Clown Shop was less than stellar. It took the crew 15 minutes to figure out that the crew member in charge of cleaning the drink area had removed the iced tea canisters and was deelybopping someplace else, too busy to get that tea out there in the prescribed time. The kids' fries were stale and old, yet were supposedly within specs. Somehow, the big screen TV running Cartoon Network did not make up for so-so food and not even average service.

WE SPENT: $77, including 3D movie tickets ($32), low carb snacks & high carb candy in a store ($12), popcorn & soda pop at the theater ($15), and lunch at The Golden Arches ($18).

THE KIDS LOST: $4 for staging an extreme fight over the remote control at 1930 last night (also sent to bed early).

TOTAL LEFT: $532.

The $613 Vacation- It Can Be Done Cheaper

We did NOT figure these activities into that $613 orginally planned for our local theme park, Three Circles Over Hades:

• The Fourth of July weekend. It's a separate issue in our family budget.
• A possible trip to visit extended family, again a separate budget issue.
• Fees for Camp Brainiac, sponsored by one of our local universities.

Having viewed the content of some of the places I will be mentioning in this summer's blog, I can see where some people might think we are loaded. We are not. We are in our fifties, and because of our assumption of the role of parents for our grandchildren, decided to work until the kids were well along the path to adulthood or we drop dead, whichever comes first. Please take the following into consideration as you consider what you read:

• My husband is eligible on occasion for a senior discount. He makes no bones about using such a discount. Regretfully, I must pry a senior discount out of businesses. Despite the grays on my head, I look too young.
• We use coupons when it makes sense. This is not always the case. Liverland is a not popular tourist destination for children. Buying food that is not on your diet simply because you have a coupon can cause you more money in the long run.
• We are not afraid to ask for discounts when planning a vacation day. We call ahead. You would be surprised at how many there are, and that do not involve senior status. One of those is the fact that we are both certified teachers in Illinois. The fact that we are certified substitutes makes no difference. Another good discount is the one we receive for being residents of our town. All the business can do is say no. Ask.

There are a variety of free and cheap things to do in any area of the United States and Canada. Consider looking on your community's web site, the web site of very nearby communities, and those communities within a short driving distance from yours:

• Off-peak movies that cost between $1 and $2 admission per person, all seats. Yes, it is either on a day when most people don't go to the movies, and/ or at a time that most people don't go to the movies. Yes, you probably have seen some of the movies already, as have the kids. Don't discount the discount! This is especially true if your residence is less than spacious and/ or not air-conditioned. A trip to the movies, to sit in a darkened theater, is always an adventure for a child. Odds are good the popcorn and goodies will be discounted, as well.
• Concerts in the park. Many communities still have a local band or orchestra. The price is usually free. Bring a blanket and a snack, along with something to keep away the bugs.
• The old-fashioned picnic. This is not the summer affair planned by your union, church, employer, or squadron. It does not require a grill, pony rides, a raffle or door prizes. Pack a lunch, a ball, and a blanket. Drive, take the bus, or walk to a spot that has some quiet, green grass, and a place to spread out that blanket. Eat lunch. Play ball. Walk around the place. Go home. You would be surprised the number of kids who have not been on this type of picnic. That's sad.
• Local festivals. Communities plan these as a way to bring goodwill and tourist dollars. There are often free activities or those that cost very little. Kid crafts. Guess the number of objects in the jar. Food samples. Fireworks. Giveaways from businesses.
• Park district. It's a little late to sign the kiddos up for day camp, as those places usually go the minute they are open, thanks to parents who need to earn a living. However, some park districts offer swimming, play parks, playgrounds, and other amusements for the local populace.

We, the Mister and I, have been given a gift of some really solid blocks of summer time, days when we have nothing to do but be together as a family. We consider these blocks of time blessings, and look to utilize them to the fullest. Give your schedule a once-over, and see if you can clear some time for yourself and the kids in your life.

The $613 Vacation- Getting To Yes

Perhaps clarification is in order. When I say we are not headed to the nearest theme park, I mean just that, no theme park, Dante-themed or otherwise.

We fully intend to spend the money we budgeted for the theme park. We just don't intend to spend it at the theme park.

It took a family meeting that bordered on sales pitch for some of the snazzier clients I have had, and a better Dog 'n Pony Show, to eliminate Three Circles Over Hades.

The kids love the Internet. It is something we only let them use once or twice a week, or to work on school projects, with a fully running net nanny. I loaded a doc which featured linked logos and photographs in text boxes (easily moved about the page). The links included URLs for local tourist places, movies, sports events not involving baseball, and museums.

I then got out a dry marker and the white board. "Kids, how much does it cost to go to Three Circles Over Hades?" I inquired.

The eldest thought of an answer. "Nothing. We get our tickets free at school." Aha! Just the answer I wanted. They were amazed that yes indeed, the old folks needed money to enter Hades, and then there was all that money for other things. I tallied it all up right there. It was an astounding $507.

The eldest was now spokesperson. "But what about our money for chores, and our behavior bucks?"

We don't give this set of kids an allowance, in the sense that they receive a set amount of family cash simply for existence. They have a chore chart. Some things, such as bed making and washing oneself out of the bathtub, are gratis. Other chores, from folding laundry to taking out garbage, come with a price tag. No workie, no money, and it better be done with a civil attitude or no money anyway, but the Mister and I still get the work done. 10 percent of this income is given to charity, 50 percent is saved in a savings account, and the rest the child can use to his or her choice.

The second source of child income in our household is behavior bucks. Call it Negative Motivation. Call it Incentive Behavior. The Mister and I are over 50. We don't want to mess with physical restrictions, corporal punishments, and all the parenting angles younger people seem to have energy to perform, unless it is absolutely necessary; very often, it is not.

The premise is simple. Every month, we do something together as a family. An amount of money is set aside in the family budget every month. How the children behave determines what happens when it is time for the monthly family activity on which said money is spent. Some months, the family activity can be as rich as the movies with popcorn and restaurant lunch. There are also months where the family activity is Pay Per View rated G, or even just board games.

The kids used to have mason jars, which into each was deposited toy money bearing the value of the set amount per child. Tell a lie to get out of work? One behavior buck lost, and a talk on lies. Most childish misbehaviors lose a buck. Fighting of any form within the friendly confines of the house earns the loss of a whopping 2 behavior bucks, and going to one's room for the rest of the day. Needless to say, the rooms are no entertainment centers, and lack TVs, computers, Wii and even books barring the Bible and prayer books.

However, the behavior bucks were not portable, and sometimes the old gal forgot. The "bucks" are now values on a punch ticket. It is extremely pleasurable to grunt in public, "I'm gonna punch your ticket" and have younger parents look aghast, only for me to whip out the hole puncher and the tickets.

Taking into account behavior bucks earned for April through August meant we raised the stakes to $613 (we really did plan to go to Hades, and it was the children's idea to save the behavior bucks).

While I sold all the wonderful places we could go, I could see the girl child's eyes light. I know she is the one who hates Three Circles Over Hades the most. She is very bright, and was calculating in her head just how much $613 could buy of a summer.

It was the eldest who was yet unsold. "But I worked hard to earn that pass!" Did you really, Pet? A quick tally of the old dry marker showed that indeed, the eldest was also involved with earning a good grade in Reading, a coupon for an individual pan pizza, and a ticket to the minor league ball park, all at the same time, by reading 30 minutes an evening. Hardly the effort imagined.

It was at that point I urged them to the computers. They clicked the links of their choices, and were transported to some 12, count 'em, twelve places and activities within the greater Chicago metropolitan area. They were all in.

I have yet to figure out what we will do with the Hades passes. They are allegedly nontransferable, and the kids' names are on the back. Perhaps I'll stick them in their baby books (advantage of being Grandma AND Mom- You latch onto the baby books early). As long as we adults do not have to swelter in Hades, I will be satisfied.