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If you think this is about YOU, maybe you should go reconcile with your parent and work to get back your kids instead of continuing to be a jerk. If you think I am you, or similar to you, welcome! :-)

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Happy Mother's Day! What Not To Expect

If this is your first Mother's Day since you stood up to your adult child who will not or cannot take care of his or her own children, congratulations. You've made it this far. Now I am going to have to remind you that you might have to take some emotional lumps today.

Yes, you will receive tokens from that grandchild or grandchildren. Mother's Day is during the school year, & it's a good craft time, with flowers and lace and almost all the same stuff as Valentine's Day. If you have other adult children who are responsible & well-balanced, they will take you to brunch or some such. If you have a significant other or husband, there will be appreciation from that source.

But it is that ONE CHILD, now an adult, from whom you long to hear. One kind word. One "Thank you Mom."

Oh honey. Here's a tissue. Please don't cry. You are a fine human being, & a wonderful parent & grandparent. It's The Kid.

It will be a blessing that you hear nothing. You certainly don't want this person showing up on your doorstep, calling you every name in the book, demanding you do this or that, telling anybody who will listen how horrible you really are. You don't want any drunk, drugged or mentally ill antics on this day. That would truly ruin your day. Don't wish it on yourself. Don't call this person. Resist the urge to email or write a letter. Save your strength for bigger battles to come if you're not done with court.

Do you want to hear how it's all your fault, for being domineering, for expecting too much, for alienating the children from their parent? 

You know that you will not hear about how this adult was in jail, tried to kill the children, let a lover abuse the kids, kept a house of squalor, showed up high to a child's big event, & that you have witnesses to this event. No, as far as your adult child is concerned, you are a villain who has stolen his or her children for whatever purpose you intended by doing so. 

You don't need that. Use this day instead to relax, & count the blessings you have. You might not have been able to save all the children in the world who suffer pain & neglect at the hands of those who are supposed to love them best, & your present lifestyle might not be permanent (yet). But you did manage to save one or two or three. And let's face it, the honor & privilege is ours when we get to see them grow into better people because of it.

Now take that construction paper flower and kiss the child who made it!

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