About Me

My photo
If you think this is about YOU, maybe you should go reconcile with your parent and work to get back your kids instead of continuing to be a jerk. If you think I am you, or similar to you, welcome! :-)

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

One Way to Find Out, I Guess

Belle is old enough for social networking, and that means more vigilance on the parental front, not less. I don't want people suddenly popping into her life and announcing themselves. The teen years are hard enough without biological parents and other as-yet unknown relatives popping out of cyberspace and onto Facebook.

This brought me to a discovery today. Belle's biological mother, my eldest daughter, finally married her longtime boyfriend and the father of one of my grandsons last week. I can't imagine why it took over two years for her to go to her county courthouse, but at $27 for the license and a judge who does marriages for free as a collateral duty, it certainly couldn't have been saving money for a big wedding.

Social networking is good that way. There was a Facebook event announcement, not invitations, so I certainly don't feel slighted on that score. 

I did not like discovering that she has decided to "friend" my ex-husband's sister. Normally, I am all for family. Not these two.

I won't go into why I finally pursued a divorce from my ex-husband, except to say he did not pay a paltry amount in child support for years. He also felt he should be able to simply show up whenever he felt like having visitation, which was hardly ever. Even after the Mister adopted the older kids, this person still hadn't paid support, even making good money in the semiconductor industry and owning a very nice motorcycle. He claims on his Classmates he has no children, only dogs he counts as children. How he intends to explain away a 30-something year old daughter should be a good trick.

But his sister, Mrs. Pro-Choice! During my tenure as Mrs. Ex, this woman strongly urged that I abort my children, despite the fact that I was lawfully married to her brother when I was pregnant. By giving up my unborn children, I would have a better financial position. To every person she has ever encountered, she has disparaged me. I know because she made the mistake of tearing me down to a dear friend she didn't know knew me (who didn't tell me for years).

It is one thing for my eldest to go off into a marriage, bipolar and untamed alcoholism notwithstanding. It's another thing entirely for my eldest to contact these people. I won't stand for another bullying cycle. I won't let Belle and her siblings be hurt. We're considering moving out of state to keep anybody from finding out where we live, even though the adoption of the kids here has been legal for quite some time.

So, yes, I hurt. And I am wary at this point. But I think I'll be OK as long as my kids here are OK.

No comments: